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cntry's Blog

Tuesday, May 27th 2008 #

[May 27th 2008, 13:08] >>> T ommy and I paint

It is evening and I look outsside and notice a red spruced up corvette in the swale. It was awkwardley parked as if it had pulled up quickley. Now watching, it 's driver, a black cowboy hatted 40ish white man (red neckish), hurriedly getting in and speeding off. Rushing outside to see what wa all the peculier fuss, I see the eve of my house, newley painted, ugly words. Words about Jamie. I don't remeber them, but they were not nice and yet scary too. I get Tommy to come look. We both don't like it and with mom on hern way home we know we need to get rid of it fast. I go to the garage and quickley get whatever paint and tools I can find. The paint doesn't match, but with it being dusk I don't think mom will notice, and she leaves at dawn in the morning. I gather everthing and have a pit in my stomach.

Within minutes it seems someone is back out there again. I look out my bedroom window this time, to see about four or five bicycles. I run out front calling Tommy's name as I do, and the vandils take there bikes and ride off quickley. This time there are more sign like plaqes all over the eve, also with not nice things about Jamie again. This time I remember just some of the jist of the wording. "Finally, Jamies gets what he deserves", things similar in content to that. I don't remember exact words again, but I know it's bad and I need to get it down. Tommy is there but I feel the pressure to paint quickley and get it gone quick. The thought goes through my mind that someting bad has happened to him. I am not sure if he has been arrested or died. I feel more like he died and don't know why his town friends, who is who I think those people were(bar friends, old neighborhood friends, etc.), would want to first disrespect my mom like that and second be glad ever if any thing bad happened to Jamie. I thought eveyone liked him.

I am in my room looking around. I can't tell if he has already died or if this was us just finding out. The fact that I feel Tommy there is odd since in real life he passed first. But he is there and I have a sense of security knowing this. He will be here with me even if Jamie isn't. He can help me with mom. And maybe he will get to the bottom of the vandals. He mentions he will change and be a non drinker, and I can depend on him. I get the feeling anyway.

My mom comes home. Doesn't notice anything thank God. I go to my room, crying, I want to call Mike he is working. I can't remember his work number. I can't dial. I am really getting worked up. I remember the mail. What if there is something in there that can explain all of this? I don't know where or how to get in touch with Jamie so it makes me feel as is they know something we don't, yet. So, I want to be first to the mailbox. I get out the mail, nothing real specific, but some very old photos of my Aunt Betty in a veil with a girl I don't know. My parents and a bowling team they were on.
My grandparents, more I dont remember. They are oddley in there though. No, envelope or anything. I go to my room. I look in the middle bedroom. The door iS half open. I want to see if Tommy or maybe Jamie are in there. A girl I dont know is in there.

I ask my mom. Who's in there? Who is that? She says maybe "Oh, maybe that goopy girl Tommy had here earlier stayed here.I look, there are two girls I don't know them. He nor Jamie are there. Tommy is gone now. Not dead just gone, he mustv'e slipped out.

I decide to get the pictures. I don't know what all this means but since I am afraid its all bad; I want to get her vibe from the pics.Maybe I think, "Dad put them in there, who else after all, would even have acsess to old pics like these."

I hear the screen door and I see Mickey Wetzel. He is here to tell her I can see it on his face. He see's the photos and knows what I was about to do. He is angry and nervous. Wht would I do that he asks? Who am I her mother? I am so upset I am crying. You should be here to help me. Telling us what's going on. You of all people. We trust you. What is going on?

My mom isn't saying anything, just watching us argue. I tell her about the vandals and what was written. Mickey wants me to stop. I am crying harder and saying, she is not the only one who is going to get hurt here. He is my brother! How would you feel if all this was about one of your brothers? I love them, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for them! Just tell me waht is wrong/! Where is he????

I see him all of the sudden. He is dark in color, almost black. He is wearing black. He is with black girls. About six of them. He is getting in a red van and going somewhere. Taking everthing with him. I don't know if he is coming back or not. When or if EVER. I am scared. I have noone. Tom's not there, My MOM is unemotional but I am crying. Alot. I want him to come back. I don't understand. I find a photo album in the front bushes and wonder if this is where the pics came from. I look and it is a Christmas album, Mickey says it is the drivers. An older man and woman.I don't recignize. I throw it at him, clearly upset I shout"merry Christmas!" sarcasticly. Jamie knows I am upset, but is still leaving with them. He isn't telling us anything. He wants to go. But I am trying so hard to cry and get him to come out and talk to me which he never does. They drive off and I don't know where they are going. I don't know if I should mourn him for never going to see him again, will he be gone a week or a couple of years, or forever. The last thought I have is maybe he will be gone a long time, but I might see him again, but then I will be much older. We will have alot of catching up to do. It will have been a very long time since I SAW HIM LAST. I am sad.

Edited on May 27th 2008, 13:13 by cntry   [c]

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